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When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex`s car.
The best part about Valentine`s Day is that tomorrow is Friday.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
If you`re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
My own personal hell sounds great, actually
Sorry, I didn’t mean to text you a graphic description of my explosive diarrhea. Stupid autocorrect.