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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Wives are just security guards hellbent on denying you access to your happiness, and porn collection.
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
What do crickets hear when they have an awkward silence?
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I`ve successfully installed Java. He hates me.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out