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I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking??
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
When life gives you lemons... all you need is tequila (and salt).
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
"That looks interesting. I think I`ll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers
Just when you think someone couldn`t be any more annoying I test your theory.