Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
I am so confused. My boss just said "keep up the good work" and I have no recollection of doing any such work.
I wish, just once, I could actually hit the pedestrian crossing the road slow with the "what`re gonna do, hit me" look on their face.
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
I wasn`t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I really feel about you!
Just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I`m gonna need a minute
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people