Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I try to fold fitted sheets it looks like I’m in an infomercial that’s exaggerating how difficult it is to fold fitted sheets.
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
When people sit in front of me at the movies. I make a loud fart sound so they quickly move to get away from me.
Arguing politics is like trying to convince someone that their baby isn`t cute.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
Bacon...need I say more
Judging by all of the cologne and shower sets I got for Christmas either people know I like to smell good or I am failing at it.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?