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And that`s when I realized, it wasn`t the hamburger who needed help, it was me
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
I just saw a gang of really drunk mosquitoes leave my arm and high-five each other. Weird.
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have
Is Nudeism a religion?
Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn`t want to talk too.
The last time I went to a nude beach I got a ticket. The officer said I was applying my sunscreen...Too Fast.
love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.