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Does the Food Network deliver?
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
My life`s paradox: I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
Being normal is boring.
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you