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Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
Partying on my level requires years of training.
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
Spoiler alert: this milk expired five days ago
I found a bottle of vodka under my bed, skittles under my pillow, & boxes of noodles in my closet. I`m like a fcuking alcoholic squirrel.
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
I am tired of men complaining about women complaining about men complaining about women
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
Someday, the time I waste deciding what to watch on Netflix will be shorter than the actual time watching it
This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!
Good for you, people that do things.
If you would`ve told me back in 1999 that we`d still be using animated gifs in 2015, I would`ve said "Wow, what a boring conversation"