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!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
You can correct people`s grammar or you can have friends. But you can`t do both.
Another day, another chance to make someone say, "Oh, now that`s just WRONG"...
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
Whenever I give money to the homeless, I get yelled at that "they are just gonna buy booze with it". All I can think is ... Oh like I wasn`t ..
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
You can either agree with me, or you can be wrong.
I`d like to thank the bars for being there for me.
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.
My new voicemail: “If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me.”
Home is where the alcohol is.