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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
79% of accidents happen in the home....... Finally, good news for the homeless
I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
´s status message is better than yours
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
Not to brag but when I push it, I push it real good.
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
You mean to tell me people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?