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I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
"Who`s this clown?" - every guy about every other guy who is in a photo with a girl we like
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
I just bought Velcro shoes.... What a rip off!
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
If you smoke after sex, you`re doing it to fast.
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.