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You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
I hate when I`m on Facebook and I`m rudly interrupted by a jogger bouncing off my windshield
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
Confession #156: I always prepare myself before stepping on the escalator
My grandfather once waited in line for 36 hours to get a loaf of bread and I can`t wait two seconds for a Youtube video to load.
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!