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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
Why do blurry people always ask me if I’m drunk?
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
Men ask us if we`re naked when we tell them we`re taking a bath. THAT`S why they pay more for their car insurance.
Me: You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you’re smart too, I like that.
I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store