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3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants".
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
I have a PHD (Pretty Huge d*ck)
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog