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So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed a bottle of food coloring. The doctor says I`m OK, but I feel like I`ve dyed a little inside.
Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Well, I`m guessing it`s because the other fifty percent can`t afford lawyers.
Youth is wasted on the young.
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.