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I only say “bless you” twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you’re a demon who must be destroyed.
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
Another tragedy today in the music industry.....Justin Beiber was just found alive in his apartment. :(
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
Didn`t think my day could get any better but my robe has pockets so boom, there you go.
My misery likes tequila, not company.