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Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways.
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
You know what’s funny? Lot’s of sh!t. Loosen up already.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
Sorry I ordered a salad and then ate all your fries.
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.