Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at this Best Buy
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
That Awkward Moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.