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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
I can`t believe The Stones are still doing it after all these years. Someday I want to have a marriage like Fred and Wilma.
When a cashier asks if you have a rewards card, look down, sigh, and say, "My wife took everything when she left"
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
On the bottle of mouthwash it says "24 hour protection", so why do the directions say "Use Twice Daily"?
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.
On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about