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I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.
great day! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!
This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….. I’m just fat.
I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
I party like a rockstar. A very poor rockstar who isn`t in a band.