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Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
I love going for walks in the rain. You can pee your pants and no one will be the wiser.
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
My shrink says if I take these pills I won`t see you guys anymore.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Ever drink so much your wife makes sense? Me neither...But I keep trying
Sooooo, ..a friend of mine was watching my dog lick herself in a certain area. Out of nowhere he says, "I wish I could do that." ...I said, "Go ahead, but she might bite."...
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?