Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
My wife let me remove all her clothes last night ... From the dryer
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
If I were a pilot I would scream “WE’RE GOING DOWN” every time I landed the plane.
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
I think my TV remote has developed some sort of Romulan cloaking technology.
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
I entered what I ate for lunch into my calorie counting app and it uninstalled itself.