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I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
If you can read this please let me know – because it means I blocked the wrong person.
That awkward moment when you buy a pack of condoms and your wife ask. what you gonna do with those?
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
In retrospect, I suppose "harder" wasn`t the best choice of a safe word.
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
I`m getting tired of having to write "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone.
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......