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There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
The nice thing about being single is when you`re setting the silverware, it doesn`t matter which side you put the remote on.
Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
My newsfeed looks like a cross between a Civil War Soldier and ZZ Top photo album.
Hey, people who don`t drive *exactly* like I do. Get off the road!
You can`t always decide who walks into your life, but you can decide which window to throw them out of.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.