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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It`s not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body!
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
When one door opens & another one closes, your fricking house is HAUNTED!
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
90% of parenting is just screaming at your kids to stop screaming.
The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it”
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!