Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
Nothing says "high-functioning alcoholic" like being really good at darts.
If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
I`m not saying you`re an idiot. I`m just saying that....Umm how do I word this?? I guess I am saying your`e an idiot.
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.
Do angry people know about naps?
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.