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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
Being normal? Ugh. I can`t imagine how awful that must be.
I would run a marathon. If the only 2 bars were 26.2 miles apart and the first one was closed.
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.
A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
Don`t blame me, I was born awesome ;)
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.