Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ``try me`` stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
Billy Ray Cyrus made a million dollars at a playgirl photo shoot. He just started taking his clothes off and they paid him to put them back on.
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
Wish my girlfriend was awake, could really do with a sandwich right now.
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
I bet people who like their own statuses wink at themselves in the mirror too.
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.
The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn`t seem to be having the desired affect.
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.