Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
This day is only a margarita away from being a good one.
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don’t try and out clever me with your comment. I don’t come over and blow out your candles on your cake.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
If you`re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don`t google `old man bond age`
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.
I hope when Bruce Willis dies, it`s from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read "Bruce Willis Died Hard".
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.