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I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about their grammar and spelling.
I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.
Most of you like waking up in the morning to see the "comments" and "likes" that your status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!
My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
“But I read somewhere…” -me about to make some sh!t up.
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.