Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
There are a thousand better ways to spend your time and yet here you are with me.
I have two feelings, it`s either "I`m hungry" or "I shouldn`t have eaten this much"
Why can’t the shower just naturally keep itself clean?
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow, but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine.
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.
Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.