Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
says, I am not an alcoholic. I am a social drinker. Problem is, I socialize too much!
If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and shit.
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
When a girl tells you that she just had her period, you are officially in the friendzone.
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
You don`t know broke until you`ve rinsed off a paper plate.
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.
I couldn`t be on a reality show because I wouldn`t want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone
Stupid people who suddenly make a smart decision have no idea how confusing that is for the rest of us.
omg I just found out I`m allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.