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Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
I legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I`m in New York.
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
I fell asleep with infomercials playing on the TV.... I woke up with a strange desire to do P90X with a Shake Weight while in my Snuggie
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his happy place and throws it at the female octopus so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows a new happy place. If that isn`t the most epic way to tell someone to go $*&# themselves, I don`t know what is!
Starting a sentence with “If you ask me” almost always indicates that no one asked you.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.