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You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....
Was there even food before people started posting pictures of it on Instagram?
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
I read in a book somewhere that we only use 12% of our brains....I wonder what the other half is for?
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, but then I realized Iād just put my hoodie on backwards
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do. Happy Fathers Day!
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.