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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

My neck, My back, My Netflix and my snacks...
I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
I`m now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
Kicking a man while he’s down burns 150 calories.
I`m getting so many spam emails. β€œGrow Your Hair Back”…”Lose weight now” …”Enlarge your manhood”… Wait… these are from my wife.
I don`t need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..