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If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
nothing says i love you like, "im going to buy you new duct tape for your taillight, what color you want? "
With all the potato chip flavors available now, I see no point in buying actual food...
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with it´s own shot glass
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.