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wonders how you can knock sense into someone when you`re beating them senseless?
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
When one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.....
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
"Wife dragged me to this theater. Somebody shoot me." -Abraham Lincoln`s last Tweet.
Don’t piss off old people. The older they get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
HANGOVER!!!!! it`s God`s way of sayin "u kicked a$$ last night"
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.
Can I get likes for no reason?