Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
Sea levels aren’t rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
The bad news: I took the wrong medication today. The good news: For the next 3 months I`m protected against heartworms and fleas.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
I dont have awkward moments I have "special" moments.e.g That "special" moment when my "special" ex learns that karma exist..
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....
If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.