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I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this...
Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
“It would take too long to explain…” Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.