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Years ago, my girlfriend said, “It’s me or the beer!” I wonder how she doing…
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
I’m pretty much always down for a snack.
From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman`s voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it`s working.
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
I can bench 250 lbs. And by that, I mean, I can sit myself down on a bench in a local park.
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
I am not saying you are stupid, because I thought you already knew
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.