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Everytime I see “ROFL”… I think of Scooby Doo trying to say “waffle”.
My favorite part of the day? The food part.
Doing word problems as a kid has helped me in adulthood. "Dan doesn`t have enough money for his bills, how long before he is homeless?"
I ate too much salad over the weekend so I`m going on an Oreo cleanse today.
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
I hardly know you…. but, Facebook says it’s your birthday, so happy birthday!
The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
People are always gonna talk about you, so you might as well give them something good to say.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.