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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
DAMN! I`m so drunk that I cooked a pizza for 450 minutes at 15 degrees.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
"Grapey." -me after every wine at the wine-tasting
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!