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Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until the creepy guy from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
Honk if you are reading this.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
A smile is the same in every language, I`m pretty sure the pee pee dance is too
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.
The best time to re-examine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.