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Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
Depression is just your body`s way of saying it needs more orgasms.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
It`s ok to admit when you`re wrong. Just don`t tell anyone.
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
LOSE WEIGHT FAST! Mix equal parts warm water, apple cider vinegar, & lemon juice toss that disgusting sh!t into a sink & get on a treadmill.
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"