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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
The expiration date on my credit card is 4/20 and it always gets a good laugh when Im ordering pizza for delivery.
The reason good men are hard to find is because they`re usually too busy working.
My wife told me her favourite position is when i lay very very still for a few hours........late at night....until the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
All milk is breast milk.
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
Mark my words: In a year, the leading cause of death will be “Beaten to death with a selfie stick”
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find `em.