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Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
The term "bath toys" has a whole new meaning when you`re an adult
Dear autocorrect, at no point in time have I meant to say "I`m affordable" instead of "I`m adorable".
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
Changing a whole text message just because you didn`t know how to spell one word?
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
Whatever βEstimated Time of Arrivalβ on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn`t I?
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.