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I feel ready to face the world as a responsible adult now that I`ve taken today`s gummy vitamins.
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
Ladies, how do I work my man boobs and get out of a ticket? Quick, she`s coming.
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
My car said "low on fuel"..I replied "low on cash"..I`m still waiting for a reply..
is battling with eyelids
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
Sometimes words are not enough. That`s why I always like to keep a baseball bat with me, just in case...
Iām amazed by how quickly I forget what Iām doing.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.