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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
Unless you discovered a dead body, I don`t want to hear about your morning jog.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
What about a To-Don`t List?
FUN FACT: I can fit 17 Pringles in my mouth. SAD FACT: I tried to figure out how many Pringles I could fit in my mouth.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
Serving size ?? LMAO
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.
Your shirt might say UFC but your body says KFC
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.