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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
What is it about paper towels that makes me always want to use more than one?
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
Here`s a list of the things I have to look forward to today: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Drinking after work
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. “Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you.”
75% of women in open relationships don`t actually know it yet.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow because I`m still looking for ideas
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?