Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Note to self: It`s time to grow up, be responsible, and act like an adult. Self to Note: Shut the f*ck up.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
I once tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose.
Why do people who insult themselves get mad when you agree with them?
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
Gym update: not there
The ski racks on my car say I’m fun, adventurous, and can’t figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting
Everybody reaches a point in their lives when they die.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.