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Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really fast
The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
I love watching women`s beach volleyball. There have been two wrist injuries so far, but I should be ok by next week.