Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors and all of them got laid.
Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
Do you ever feel like you`re in Season 5 of your life, and the writers are just doing outrageous stuff to keep it interesting?
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!
Guy on plane: So, where are you going? Me: I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.