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Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport.
In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it`s in.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?