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Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.
When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always "I don`t believe you."
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.