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How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
When they say " drink responsibly ", what they really mean is "don`t f***in spill it!"
Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
When you put ‘aspiring’ in front of your chosen profession. What I hear is: I’m unemployed.
Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air...then you wave them like you just don’t care.
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.
I`m so poor I went to the ducks today to beg for bread...