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The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
As a child, you dream of adventure, travel & success. As an adult, a lot of the time, you just hope the toilet flushes.
You ever wonder why it`s only women who need exorcisms?
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
Sometimes it’s just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge.
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
When your wife`s in labour, never sneak a look at the business end; it`s like watching your favourite pub burn down.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.