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Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
is in no shape to exercise
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
I have a few skeletons in my closet. But, every single one of them deserved it.
Yea...sure! I was hoping someone would come and stand uncomfortably close to me today
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.