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that moment when autocorrect decides to ruin you and makes a text incredibly awkward.
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
Marriage. Because your sh!tty day doesn`t have to end at work.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
I’ve got bad news: Today is not Friday, Tomorrow is not Friday, Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
You don`t even want to know the things I have done for a Klondike Bar...
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
My girlfriend says I need to grow up. I think she`s just angry I didn`t give her the password to my pillow fort.
Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?