Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish people would consult me before trying to insult me, because I could help them come up with a much better one.
If I could only use one word to describe myself, it would probably be: "not good at following directions".
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
Is it just me, or do mirrors look really sexy?
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.