Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I`m pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
When setting the table, does the remote go to the left or the right of the dinner plate?
gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"