Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
Mom: How are your grades this semester? Me:.... Mom:.... Me: Mother what`s important is that we have our health
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
Part of me says I can´t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don´t listen to that guy. He´s drunk."
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 4th sneeze…get your self together
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.
My ex said he would die for me. All I`m saying is, it was his suggestion.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.
I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?