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I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
When the cashier asks "How`s your day going?" I reply "I`m buying 3 bottles of wine, it`s clearly only getting better."
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That`s not my waiter!
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
When I say "It’s a long story," it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
You`re an intellectual who doesn`t read books? I completely understand because I`m an athlete that rarely moves.
Eating Popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.