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No body on there deathbed said I wish I had spent more time at work
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
Marrying your high school sweetheart is like taking the banker`s first offer on Deal or No Deal.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.